Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Suicide Season Part 3
Woke up today. Nothing to do. there is never anything to do when you live 4 or 6 miles away from everything.. I have to stay at the house unless I get up early and go with my grandparents to work, which is just as boring... I watch T.V. and look around the house. On my grandpa's desk there is a can of air duster. I lose control and inhale half the can. I'm get the Wah Wah's which is the sound of your brain cells exploding. I love getting away from reality. later that day we decide to do hamburgers and they let me cook them. I consider myself a great cook and throw together some fantastic burgers. I was outside cooking on the grill and decided to finish off the air duster. The hamburgers are good and the day is almost done. I get on the computer and talk to some people then realize how alone I really am. Time to sleep.
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so...i don't even know what to say, then i thought YES I DO HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY...My name is Kelly- I know your mom Heather and I think you have a gift.... A gift for writing!!
ReplyDeleteI won't pretend to know or understand your thoughts really, but I do know about being 17, I do know the 'alone' feeling, and I relate to the good cooking. :) While living 4-6 miles from anything may seem horrible...the feeling you have about that is a choice. You choose to feel that way. Perhaps?? And this is merely a suggestion...but perhaps if you followed the "I consider myself a great cook" thing that you stated maybe you wouldn't be bored...maybe cooking with some passion could help you escape reality. Then...again this is merely a suggestion...maybe when you have created a fantastic meal because you are a great cook, maybe you could blog about your creation so others can try it or be inspired by it? Again--only a suggestion.
Ok, last thing...I dont know you, you dont know me, but if I didnt say this i wouldnt leave your blog feeling good:
Dont worry about what others think and get over your past because it does not determine your future. Life is short! Be nice to everyone you meet for they may hold the message to your success. If you want everything out of life you have to help others get everything they want. Have a no regrets mentality and Get in the game! Where you spend you time is where your heart is. God/or high power doesnt care if you get rich, but try to have a personal relationship with him; its ok to let him in! Don't retreat when people get you down--RELOAD. And ask yourself when you go to bed at night: Did you do your best and did you give it your all.
GOOD LUCK KIERIAN...I will be following your blog because I do care. :)
Hello!
ReplyDeleteYou are such a talented writer! I am so sorry for all that you have been going through. I can only imagine how hard dealing with those emotions can be. I pray that this blog will be a healing outlet for you. I think you will be famous one day if you keep it up! Thank you for being so brave and real. You are an amazing human being and are proving how much you have to offer. Please keep up the great work. I'm excited to follow your blog and watch where this amazing life takes you.